딱히 무슨 일이 있었던 것은 아니다.
나의 내부에서 느껴지는 감정,
떠오르는 생각들은,
언제 어디서부터 생겨난 것인지 모르게 나를 집어삼키곤 한다.
내 안에 존재하지만 온전한 내 것이 아닌 그것들은,
출처를 알 수 없는 외부로 부터 찾아와,
변화하고 진화를 거듭하는 미지의 것과 같다.
계속해서 변화하고,
복합적인 양상을 띈 그것들을,
종이 위에 분출하며 곱씹는다.
그것들의 정체를 밝히고자 애쓰지만,
명료해지기는 커녕 명확했던 부분들 까지도 불확실해지고는 만다.
결국,
나는 나의 감정과 생각들에 대해
결코 명확히 할 수 없다는
두렵고도 자명한 사실에 마주하게 된다.
나의 존재는 알 수 없는 그것들에 덮여,
점차 흐려진다.
✥
Nothing special has happened.
The feelings and thoughts
that come into my mind
often swallow me up.
I don't know where and when they come from.
They exist in me, but not mine.
They are like
the thing that comes from unknown origins
and constantly keep changing and evolving.
I try to spill out them
and analyze
these complex things on paper.
I try to identify their identity,
but I go to be far from being clear,
even clear parts become uncertain.
In the end,
I find the truth which is afraid,
that is,
I can never be clear about feelings and thoughts considered as mine.
My presence is covered with those unknown things,
gradually fade away.
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
In the relationship
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
But nothing happened to me
From outside
From outside
Something round
Something round
Something round
Something round
For eternity
For eternity
For eternity
For eternity
Something that divides into two
Something leaking
Something round
Something round